Heated Argument -vs- Discussion

Who likes to argue? Yelling back and forth about a particular thing that you couldn't come to a consensus about. The truth is, it doesn't have to take all the yelling in the world to get your point across. Because, if you're strong-willed like me, yelling doesn't matter...it would take a sign from God to change my mind. These are my honest thoughts, but it brings me to my point.

You can have a successful disagreement about something without taking it outside and strapping your boxing gloves on. This is called a discussion. You should have healthy discussions about everything because it's important to confront every issue you face in marriage. Yes, somethings are annoying. But, yelling at your husband/wife about it will not solve the issue. It will only cause more friction. Here's what I encourage you to do the next time you feel like erupting your volcano in an argument:

1. Pray before you approach your spouse about it. I jokingly say, "I need to be in an attitude of prayer" before I talk to my husband about it. This is actually a half-joke because it's really true. If not, I may say the wrong thing that will only make matters worse.

2. Be calm and collect. Sometimes we can be guilty of already having an ulterior motive. We know we are going to go off. Don't go there. Instead, approach the situation with peace and love. There's no need to go off. Trust me, it doesn't make you look like the winner. It actually makes you look ugly. And who wants to look ugly?

3. Be open to hearing his/her side. This is especially challenging for me. Most times I have the "I'm right"mindset and instead of really being open to hearing his side, I'm prepared for an argument. Well, just listen, hear your spouses side and be rational. You never know what you could actually learn from your spouse.

In marriage, you will have millions of disagreements. But, you can have successful ones. It's okay to agree to disagree. If it is something that's crucial and heavy, then coming to a consensus will only help you more forward. Pray and ask the Lord to show you the best way to communicate to you spouse about a disagreement. And then, listen and take heed.

Do you find yourself in constant battles? Today, decide to speak life in your marriage. Everything doesn't have to become a heated argument. Be gentle. Be graceful. Be loving!


Warmly,
Kennisha Hill
www.maritalblissonline.com